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01.06.2012, Words by dummymag

Dogs Doing Lists #26: Rock of Sages

  1. Dogs creating the cosmos with a single strum of an electric guitar, and commanding out to the vast fruits of all existence, “Call me Rock God.”
  2. Dogs demanding of a fresh grave, “I want to know what love is,” and plunging a spade into the soft dirt, insisting, “I want you to show me.”
  3. Dogs standing outside the Osama bin Laden compound, holding high a boombox playing “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”
  4. Dogs banging a gavel as Rupert Murdoch is joined before Parliament by the members of Poison lamenting the terrible knowledge of evil at the end of “Something to Believe In.”
  5. Dogs bursting into the White House Situation Room to find impassioned administration officials slowly and tunelessly singing the misbegotten names on a secret kill list.
  6. Dogs panning across a waste land packed with skulls as a lifeless breeze howls through vacant eye sockets and reproduces the ethereal whistling interlude from “Wind of Change.”
  7. Dogs thrusting the guitar down halfway through a slow, melancholic solo and grabbing a microphone to silence the band and confess before an audience of thousands, “I haven’t felt anything in years.”
  8. Dogs muscling in between Tommie Smith and John Carlos on the Olympic podium and brandishing a shimmering Fender Stratocaster, offering weakly, “Black Power…ballad?”
  9. Dogs poring over the entry in the Tibetan Book of the Dead which describes the state of consciousness at the very moment of death, and nodding soberly at the accompanying picture of the band Europe, their mounds of hair hovering harmlessly over piercing gazes and parted lips, on the cover of The Final Countdown.
  10. Dogs holding a small, unsteady lighter flame up to nature as the will to persist unceremoniously abandons the now drooping form of every living thing.

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